April 4, 2014

definitions 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

  1. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a**hole.

  2. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

  3. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

  4. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

  5. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

  6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

  7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

  8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

  9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

  10. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's,like, a serious bummer.

  11. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

  12. Glibido: All talk and no action.

  13. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

  14. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

  15. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

  16. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

-- Jenny P