Clingy Friends

January 9, 2013

Dear Alice: I’m pretty good friends with a guy but we aren’t dating and that ship sailed a long time ago. We’ve stayed friends and still go to movies and stuff together. I have a boyfriend that I’ve been with for a while now and he’s okay with my friendship with this other guy but is getting a little worried about how close this guy is trying to get to me. Lately my friend “John” has been acting really strange. He texts me non stop and talks to me 24/7 and he even rubs my back in class. For the entire class period. It makes me feel really uncomfortable but I don’t know how to tell him to back off. It isn’t like we’re best friends even, we’re just friends. I fell bad because John doesn’t have many friends to begin with. I have a boyfriend and John is giving me weird attention and I’m pretty sure he likes me. What should I do? -Crossing the Friendship Line

Dear Crossing the Friendship Line: The best way to fix this is to slowly remove yourself from John. First, stop texting back so much. If you text him back all the time he probably gets the feeling that you like him too. Next, make him stop touching you in class. That is really awkward and annoying and you shouldn’t have to feel that way. If you can change seats, ask one of your other friends to sit behind you for a couple of days. That way you don’t have to tell him that you don’t like him touching you and hurt his feelings. But if you can’t change seats you need to ask him to stop touching you. You don’t need the distraction of feeling uncomfortable in class. Don’t talk to him all the time either. Try to stay around a group of your other friends to stop him from wanting to talk in private. You don’t have to end your friendship with him, but you do need to distance yourself so he doesn’t keep clinging like this. Hopefully this will stop and he can continue to be your normal friend again.-Lots of Love, Alice